It started with an epic road trip across the American West with my loyal canine companion, Lola. After a year of planning and sacrifice, I was finally moving to Spain! We got a late afternoon start driving out of southern Oregon. By the time we made it to the Sheldon National Antelope Refuge, the only signs of civilization were the 2-lane highway and the reflective markers on each side of it leading us to a distant point in the pitch-black darkness. No people. No trees. No nothing. In fact, the last highway sign I remember passing that first night held an ominous message, “Next Gas – 100 Miles”.
The following morning, I stocked up on truck stop coffee and mini Cinnabons and pulled out of Winnemucca, Nevada, not knowing it was the last time that I would see a tree for the next 24+ hours (it’s funny how you miss things like that). By Day 3, both Lola and I were suffering from altitude sickness as we made our way across high deserts, mountains and the Great Salt Flats. I’d heard of altitude sickness before but had always associated it with extreme heights like Base Camp on Mount Everest. What I can tell you is that it is the most extreme headache, worse than any migraine, that no amount of painkillers will cure and a pain throughout your whole body that goes all the way to your very core. I actually texted my mom on Day 3 to let her know that it might take us an extra day to get to her home in St. Louis because I felt so bad.
We finally made it to St. Louis on Day 4 and spent a few days with my mother, then drove on to a friend’s home in Chicago (Thanks again, Maria!) where I sold my car the day before flying to Madrid. It was a strange feeling walking out of that car dealership without car keys. I had always had a car to drive since I was 16 years old and now I was consciously committing to being “car-less”. The next day, Lola, 10 suitcases and I got on a non-stop flight to Madrid and I haven’t looked back since!
It’s now been almost 9 months since I arrived in Spain, and so far here are a few things I’ve learned:
You absolutely can reinvent yourself
I’m not saying that you should pull a Talented Mr. Ripley kind of reinvention, but moving to a new place where you don’t know anyone gives you a clean slate. No one knows about your previous disasters or faults. You are a new mound of fresh clay to be molded into whoever or whatever you want to be. You get to chart your new course, so dream big rather than thinking small.
Who cares if you were the woman who walked out of the charity fundraiser ladies’ room with part of the skirt of your voluminous party dress tucked up into the rear waistband of your pantyhose! (No one saw it before you fixed it, but that’s not the point.) It doesn’t matter because no one will know unless you tell them.
You don’t really need all of the stuff you’ve accumulated
No one really needs all the stuff that each of us accumulate over time. When I decided to move to Spain and create a different kind of life for myself, I had a 4-bedroom house with a 2-car garage that was full to the gills. I started looking around at all of it and realized that most of it I didn’t use or need. My reality was that I was working just to pay for a giant storage facility!
In the drastic downsizing I had to accomplish to make this move/life change, I learned exactly how hard it is to get rid of all of your shit. When I held garage sales, people told me that my stuff was “too nice” for a garage sale and left without buying anything. WTF?????? How do you respond to that?
Getting rid of it all was like taking on a second job just to sell, donate and give away so much stuff. From here forward, I’ve vowed to collect life experiences instead of things!
Too much curiosity is not a bad thing
I was probably born with more curiosity than one person should ever have. I love traveling to new places to discover the culture, history, people and food, and my curiosity has always seemed concentrated on Europe. Now that I live in the third largest city in Europe, I never have an excuse to be bored. Madrid has so much to offer that the only way a person could be bored is if he refused to leave his apartment.
Museums have times in their schedules when the public can get in for free. Concerts in churches are almost always free. Discount airlines and trains make it easy to see other parts of Spain and the rest of Europe. My landlord is a pilot for one of those airlines and recently gave me a free round-trip ticket to go anywhere that airline flies. (I know. Best. Landlord. Ever!!!) I chose Malta simply because I’d never been there before and there was a chance it might be slightly warmer than Madrid at this time of the year. OMG!!! That island has over 7,000 years of history! They have temples older than the pyramids in Egypt! There’s so much to see and do that I could spend multiple trips going there. I almost feel overwhelmed with all the choices I now have on ways to use my free time.
Manana does not mean what you think
“Manana” does not necessarily mean “tomorrow” to a Spaniard. It just means “not today”. Don’t fight it. Just learn to live with it and move on. This is one of those things where you have to pick the battles you can win.
You can stay out all night dancing in Madrid and it’s okay
Madrid is the kind of place where you can stay out all night dancing and no one will think bad of you. In fact, they’ll most likely congratulate you for having such a good time.
Emergency services sirens sound (obnoxiously) the same world wide
I was standing at an intersection in Madrid the other day waiting to cross the street and in that short period of time, a police car, fire truck and ambulance roared past blasting me with their obnoxious sirens. It made me think how in all of the countries where I’ve traveled, those obnoxious sirens sound so similar. So, is there some Global Office of Obnoxious Sounds where a group sits around playing whatever new obnoxious noises they managed to create the previous night? If so, do they have an actual sales team that sells these noises by categories, like slightly obnoxious, generally obnoxious, and Oh Holy Mary the world is coming to an end! obnoxious?
If you need to move through a crowd, draft behind the abuelos
“Los abuelos” is Spanish for “the grandparents” but is also used to generally describe the elderly. Here in Spain, the elderly are esteemed members of society and people give them their seats on public transportation and move out of their way on sidewalks. During the Christmas holidays, I was walking through the crowds after getting out of a movie and felt like I was constantly dodging people, baby strollers and street artists. And then I saw them, the abuelos, two couples of them walking together. Everyone moved out of their way. The abuelos walked without dodging anyone or anything. It was like the Red Sea parting and they were going my way! So, I caught up to them and drafted behind them until I reached the metro station I needed. I’ve come to use this trick many times since and it works like magic every time!
Make your own destiny
Since moving to Spain I’ve met a lot of expats whose story of how they came to be living here is much like my story. All of us didn’t like the life we left behind and came up with a plan to live a different lifestyle in a place that has so much to offer. The question that I get the most from people sounds deceptively simple, “So, how did you come to live in Madrid?” But the response is anything but simple. After I tell them my story, most tell me that they think I’m brave for moving to a new country and starting over. I’ve never thought of it as brave. I just think I’m decisive and a bit compulsive when it comes to researching something that I want to do and making to-do lists. Really, I think it comes down to the fact that you can absolutely make your own destiny.
I think you just have to follow your own arrow and dare to live a life less ordinary………..
Dispatches From Madrid 
I read this over and over. It warms my heart. Thank you for sharing this with me.
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